A 19-year-old from Russia’s Astrakhan Region has been classified with a Category III disability after consuming energy drinks and using vapes every day for nearly a year. The teen reportedly drank three to four cans of energy drinks daily in hopes of boosting his chances of winning a luxury car in an online giveaway. Participants were encouraged to register as many receipts from energy drink purchases as possible.
Before this, the young man led an athletic lifestyle and had plans to apply to the FSB Academy in St. Petersburg. A routine medical checkup before the academic year showed no health issues. But during exam season, under high stress, he began using e-cigarettes and drinking energy drinks more frequently. After entering the contest, his consumption escalated to daily high doses.
Over time, his health quickly deteriorated. He experienced rapid weight loss and persistent fatigue. Medical tests revealed that his blood sugar had spiked to nearly four times the normal level — around 19 mmol/L instead of the standard 5–6. Doctors diagnosed him with type 1 insulin-dependent diabetes, along with severe dysfunction of the thyroid and pancreas, conditions that automatically qualified him for disability status.
According to physicians, a combination of chronic stress, irregular eating habits, and excessive use of energy drinks likely triggered a major breakdown in his body’s systems. Because of his diagnosis, the teen had to abandon his plans to enter the academy and stop all athletic training.
He is now learning to manage his condition by monitoring glucose levels, administering insulin, following a strict diet, and undergoing regular specialist checkups.
Unfortunately, this tragic story comes at a time when energy-drink consumption in Russia is growing rapidly. According to recent data, the share of Russians who drink energy drinks rose from 16.6% in 2013 to 22.8% in 2023. Sales of energy drinks in the country more than doubled between 2019 and 2023, from 498 million liters to 1,096 million liters. Experts warn that regular, excessive consumption of such drinks — especially among youth — can lead to serious health problems, including cardiovascular disorders, metabolic issues, and other chronic conditions. This case should serve as a stark warning about how dangerous the “energy-drink culture” is becoming in Russia, especially for vulnerable young people seeking quick energy boosts or social recognition.
If you thought October was wild, November said: “Hold my tea.”
From heated gadgets to heated rhetoric, from patriotic school bells to teenage mustaches — Russia delivered another month of news that feels like a cosmic blend of satire, sociology, and pure chaos.
Here’s your November rundown of the strange, surprising, and spectacularly odd.
Autumn Heatwave: Russia’s Vibrator Boom
This fall, Russian women rushed to buy vibrators at a record pace. Sales in October jumped nearly fourfold, setting a new annual high.
The most popular models? Heating vibrators — apparently perfect for long, cold evenings.
Psychologists say gloomy weather disrupts biorhythms, pushing people to seek comfort, stress relief, and, well… warmth.
“A Woman Can’t Exist Without a Man,” Says the Church
A priest from the Russian Orthodox Church declared that a woman is merely a “helper to man” and cannot exist without a husband.
Without a man, he warned, she drifts around “like a leaf in the wind.”
Somewhere, thousands of independent women rolled their eyes in unison.
Patriotism on Repeat: School Bells Replaced with Songs
In November, Russian schools are replacing bells with patriotic music for the second year in a row.
The playlist includes songs such as “My Brothers,” “Mother Russia,” “Lovely Russia,” “We Are United! Invincible!” and Denis Maidanov’s “Flag of My State.”
The initiative marks Unity Day and aims to unite schoolchildren — one chorus at a time.
Church Declares Women Who Had Abortions “Serial Killers”
In another fiery statement, a ROC bishop claimed that women who undergo abortions are “serial killers” who should face trial, while doctors performing them are “executioners covered in blood.”
Teen Girls Growing Mustaches — Literally
Doctors report a surge of teenage girls developing facial hair.
Previously, clinics saw 2 out of 10 girls with this issue — now it’s 6 out of 10.
The cause? Hormonal imbalance linked to obesity, lack of physical activity, and fast food.
Experts urge families not to panic: switch to healthy eating, move more, and start treatment. TikTok filters, sadly, can’t fix hormones.
Grandma Goes Pro: 77-Year-Old CS2 Streamer Nominated for Award
Meet Olga Ivanovna, a 77-year-old Counter-Strike 2 streamer from Nizhny Novgorod.
She went viral after single-handedly taking down an entire enemy team on her stream.
Now she’s nominated by NNYS for the “Best Gaming Moment” award — proving that esports in Russia has no age limit.
Holiday Prep: Intimate Hairstyles Trend Before New Year
With New Year approaching, demand for intimate haircuts among Russian women is up 60%.
Full epilation is out — creative, lightly hairy designs are in.
Your esthetician is now your festive-mood stylist.
The Saddest Christmas Tree of the Year
The city of Berezovsky in Kuzbass unveiled a Christmas tree so worn-out that locals immediately compared it to a toilet brush.
Festive? Debatable.
Memorable? Absolutely.
Sending Unsolicited Pics May Soon Be a Crime
Lawmakers want to fine men who send unsolicited dick pics to women.
The proposal has already been sent to the Ministry of Justice.
However, MP Wasserman insisted the ban would be “unnecessary and excessive.”
A bold hill to die on.
A Russian man tried to treat prostatitis with “healing” Chinese tea — only to discover during a traffic stop that the tea contained cannabis.
Police tested him, revoked his license for nearly two years, and fined him ₽45,000.
Not exactly the herbal therapy he imagined.
Slang of the Year: “Red Flag,” “Sigma,” “Pupupu” and More
Gramota.ru’s contenders for Russian Word of the Year include: “red flag,” “sigma,” “pupupu,” “imba,” “limb,” “zoomer,” “burnout,” “prompt,” “slop,” “brainrot,” “highlight.”
A linguistic snapshot of the country’s cultural chaos.
Remote Workers Are “Getting Dumber,” Experts Say 🤯🤪🧠💥
Speech therapists say Russian remote workers are losing verbal skills: shrinking vocabulary, simplified sentences, and reduced clarity 😵💫📉.
Stickers and emojis are slowly replacing real communication 😂👉📲.
Efficiency up — eloquence down? 🤷♂️🧠⬇️
Participants are expected to find each other through religious events, traditions, and shared values.
Swipe right? No. Bow politely.
Plastic Medal for Childbirth: Collect All Four
In the Sverdlovsk region, officials have announced that new parents will receive a plastic medal for having a child.
The head of the regional Health Ministry, Tatyana Savinova, says the initiative is meant to boost the birth rate.
To complete the full medal collection, parents will need to have four children, the minister noted.
Tarot Readers Fined for “Extremism”
Russia has begun issuing fines to tarot readers.
In one case, a woman from Krasnodar was found guilty of displaying extremist symbols after posting a tarot card on VKontakte featuring Baphomet and a pentagram.
A court ruled the imagery represented symbols of the so-called “International Satanist Movement”, which is designated as extremist and banned in Russia.
“Ass” Officially Banned in Russia
In the latest linguistic twist, the word «жопа»“ass” has been officially labeledobscene in the new Explanatory Dictionary of the State Language, published by St. Petersburg State University.
No more “ass” in public discourse — at least not without risking a slap on the wrist from the language police.
“Start Having Kids After 18,” Says Matviyenko
Valentina Matviyenko urged young Russian women to start having children immediately after turning 18, calling it “normal” and “fashionable.”
For context: she had her own child at 24.
And that’s November — a month of heated gadgets, heated debates, viral grandmas, patriotic jingles, unexpected mustaches, and more cultural plot twists than a late-night soap opera.
Stay tuned — December is usually even stranger.
Russia has unveiled its first human-like robot powered by artificial intelligence, TASS reported on November 11, citing the New Technology Coalition.
During the presentation, the robot — named Idol — unexpectedly collapsed. According to the Moscow Agency, video from the event shows the robot slowly walking onto the stage accompanied by two people, with “Gonna Fly Now” from the movie Rocky playing in the background. Idol attempted to wave, lost its balance, and fell over. The presentation was immediately halted, and the robot was carried away.
Journalist Dmitry Filonov noted that Alexey Yuzhakov, head of the National Technology Coalition, had previously warned that developers invested very little into teaching the robot how to walk. Vladimir Vitukhin, founder of Idol, explained that the issue came from the stereo cameras — they are highly sensitive to lighting conditions, and the hall was too dark.
During the robot’s second appearance, Idol managed to stay on its feet, though not without human assistance, the Moscow Agency clarified. Vitukhin assured the audience that the robot would be fine. “This is exactly how real-time learning works — when a successful mistake becomes knowledge, and an unsuccessful mistake becomes experience. I hope this mistake becomes experience,” he said.
Developers stated that Idol “covers three key human functions: walking on two legs, manipulating objects, and communicating with people.” All systems run offline, and the robot can operate autonomously for up to six hours. The specific AI system powering Idol was not disclosed.
According to the creators, realistic facial expressions and emotional reactions are “the key differences between Idol and other solutions on the global market.” The robot’s “face” can display at least 12 basic emotions, along with “hundreds” of micro-expressions.
Developers believe that such a robot could be used in manufacturing, logistics, and service roles — in banks, airports, or any public space, RIA Novosti writes.
While life in Russia is already tough enough as it is, some lawmakers seem determined to make it even more dramatically miserable for ordinary people. In recent months, officials and public activists have been pumping out bizarre legislative ideas at full speed — each stranger than the last. Below is a roundup of the latest proposals shaping Russia’s increasingly surreal political landscape.
Jailing Russians for “Parasitism”
Russian lawmakers want to imprison citizens for “parasitism.” The initiative has already been submitted to the Federation Council. Violators would face corrective labor or up to one year in prison. According to Vitaly Borodin, head of the Federal Project for Security and Anti-Corruption, this will simultaneously solve workforce shortages, illegal migration, and demographic problems.
Creating a National Registry of Bachelors
The Union of Orthodox Banner-Bearers has proposed creating a national registry of bachelors to boost the birthrate. They believe keeping track of single men will stimulate demographic growth — as long as the registry doesn’t become mandatory.
Because when romance fails, a government spreadsheet will surely fix it.
Nationwide Alcohol Ban for the Holidays
Public activists want to ban alcohol sales from December through the end of the New Year holidays. They claim a total ban will improve the nation’s health and demographics.
Spouses to Monitor Each Other’s Online Shopping
Lawmakers want husbands and wives in Russia to monitor each other’s online purchases. Spouses would be able to set spending limits on marketplaces; once the limit is exceeded, no new orders could be placed. Activists argue this will protect family budgets and prevent debt.
Because nothing strengthens marriage like government-backed mutual surveillance.
The Government Wants Data on Everything — Even When You Hit Pause
The Ministry of Digital Development plans to expand the data user platforms must send to Mediascope, the official audience measurement firm. Online cinemas and social networks would be required to provide permanent user identifiers and complete viewing information for every movie and series — including pauses and resumes.
Big Brother doesn’t just watch you — he knows when you go to the bathroom.
Banning Russians From Flaunting Luxury Online
Activists want to ban Russians from showing off luxurious lifestyles on social media. They claim that displaying expensive purchases, travel, and “beautiful living” encourages young people to “sell themselves and their souls” for material goods and erodes traditional family values.
Banning the Cartoon “Masha and the Bear”
Some activists want to ban the cartoon Masha and the Bear, arguing it contradicts traditional Russian values: the girl lives without parents and is raised by a bear, supposedly setting a bad example. They were especially outraged by an episode where the bear falls in love — only to be rejected by a female bear who chooses a stronger paw and a richer bouquet.
Internet Access Only With a Passport
The Public Chamber is calling for mandatory identification to access 18+ content online. They claim passport-based verification will protect teenagers from profanity, violence, and antisocial behavior.
Because minors have never, ever found a workaround on the internet.
Cutting Russians’ Vacation Time Because of the War
Activists want to reduce Russians’ vacation by one week due to the war, and also cut the number of official holidays because of the country’s economic difficulties. They argue that 21 vacation days and six New Year holidays are enough to overcome all of today’s challenges.
When in doubt, solve national crises by eliminating time off.
Fixing Demographics Through Poverty
State Duma deputy Matveychev proposed solving demographic problems through poverty. He stated: “The better people live, the fewer children they have. The highest birthrates are in poor countries, and the worst are in rich ones.”
According to him, increasing benefits and improving living conditions to raise the birthrate is “deception,” and the real stimulus should be the absence of financial comfort.
Finally — a policymaker brave enough to declare prosperity the enemy.
Selling Pills Individually “to Save Money”
Duma deputy Farrakhov suggested selling pills individually rather than in standard packaging. He believes medications should be produced in large sacks and divided in pharmacies according to prescriptions to reduce waste and save money.
Because who doesn’t want their antibiotics scooped from a giant communal bag?
Banning Single Women From Owning More Than One Cat
Russia’s Public Chamber declared that women with two or three cats are “perverted.” They proposed banning single women from owning more than one pet, arguing the Western trend of having many animals contradicts family values. Pets, they claim, replace husbands and children — therefore the lifestyle must be restricted.
Scaring Children With “You’ll Be a Street Sweeper” Now Banned
Rosobrnadzor has banned using the classic Russian parental threat: “If you don’t study, you’ll end up working as a street sweeper.” For decades, parents used this line to pressure children into better grades, but officials now say it’s harmful rather than motivating. According to agency head Muzaev, such fear-based tactics can lead to psychological stress and even family tragedies.
In other words, one of Russia’s most iconic parenting traditions has officially been labeled a hazard.
If you thought the world had calmed down, think again. October in Russia brought us everything from bizarre inventions to psychological trends and international bathroom drama. Buckle up — here’s your monthly digest of the weirdest, most wonderfully absurd headlines.
Soviet Spirit Meets Modern Safety: Niva Finally Gets an Airbag
Photo: Lada
The car airbag was invented in the early 1950s. But here in Russia, we like to stay traditional — Orthodox, even. For the first time, the Lada Niva will be equipped with an airbag.
But there’s a twist: the only one will protect not the driver, but the rear-seat passenger. The sporty Niva Sport, priced at around ₽1.7 million (≈ $18,500), is set to go on sale in December. Because clearly, in a Niva, it’s the backseat that needs the most protection. auto.ru
A House for $1,200 — and It Comes with a Sauna
The cheapest village home in Russia is up for sale in Chuvashia for just ₽110,000 (≈ $1,200). Built in 1955, this 40 m² (430 sq ft) wooden house has a stove, sauna, well, and fruit trees — basically everything you need for a minimalist dacha life. Wanna move in? ki-news.ru
Putin’s Head Is the New Gym Equipment
Forget dumbbells — meet the Putin kettlebell. This bizarre workout accessory, shaped like the president’s head, has been spotted on Russian marketplaces for ₽8,500 (≈ $90).
The seller claims it’s “impossible to slack off while working out, because Big Brother is watching you.”
Meanwhile, the EU’s 19th sanctions package has banned the export of toilets and bidets to Russia, sparking outrage and memes. The Kremlin promised that Europe would “pay a high price.” Apparently, even porcelain isn’t safe from geopolitics. kommersant.ru
Send in the Clowns — Literally
Russia is facing an acute shortage of clowns, according to veteran circus performer Anatoly Marchevsky. He says today’s audiences are too sophisticated — and it’s getting harder to make them laugh. Clown schools report low enrollment, while older performers are retiring. If you’ve been thinking about a career change, this might be your sign (red nose optional). lenta.ru
The Height of Insecurity
Sales of heel and insole lifts among Russian men have skyrocketed — up fivefold in a year. Each pair costs around ₽300 (≈ $3.20) and adds up to 5 cm (≈ 2 inches) of height. The trend reportedly stems from social-media dating standards, where women openly declare they only date men taller than 180 cm (≈ 5′11″).
At the same time, demand for penis extenders has soared by 90%. Psychologists say men feel increasing pressure from “sigma-male” culture and body-talk on social media. Doctors, meanwhile, warn that the devices can cause injuries or sexual dysfunction — a high price to pay for a few extra centimeters.
Gamers Get Paid: Dota 2 Tutors Earn More than Teachers
Coaching online games has become a booming business. Dota 2 tutors in Russia are now earning up to ₽120,000 a month (≈ $1,300). They usually teach 7–10 students weekly, helping them master lanes, item builds, and rankings.
Most clients are school or university students aged 14–25 who’d rather invest in gaming skills than math homework. gazeta.ru
Turkish Love Fever
Single Russian women are heading to Turkey after binge-watching romantic Turkish TV dramas.
According to surveys, 77% admitted that soap operas inspired their travels — most of them women aged 31 to 44, hoping to find love worthy of a prime-time plot twist.
Travel agencies report a noticeable surge in solo female bookings to Istanbul and Antalya. Looks like love — or maybe Netflix — is the strongest visa motivation.
And that’s October for you — airbag miracles, kettlebell presidents, love migration, and a country running out of clowns. If the rest of the world ever feels too normal, you know where to look.
Every culture has its hidden codes, and in Russia that secret language is known as Fenya — the criminal slang born in prisons, back alleys, and underworld dealings. More than just words, Fenya is a mirror of history: a mix of old peddlers’ speech, Yiddish borrowings, and Odessa street talk. Today, many Fenya expressions have slipped into everyday Russian, sometimes with humor, sometimes with menace. Let’s take a closer look at this unique linguistic world.
Excerpt from Yuri Koval
— So, you po fene botaesh (по фене ботаешь, po fene botaesh)? — Do you speak in thieves’ cant?
— Botayu (ботаю, botayu). — I do. I speak it as hard as I can.
— And do you po-ryb’i chirikaesh (по-рыбьи чирикаешь, po-ryb’i chirikaesh)? — Can you chirp in “fish talk”?
— Chirikayu (чирикаю, chirikayu). — I chirp.
— You lie, starling! You’re na bugaya beresh (на бугая берёшь, na bugaya beresh — “acting tough, pretending to be a bull”)! You’re porozhnyak gonyaesh (порожняк гоняешь, porozhnyak gonyaesh — “talking nonsense, running empty”)! You’re lapshu na ushi dvigaesh (лапшу на уши двигаешь, lapshu na ushi dvigaesh — “hanging noodles on ears, i.e., fooling me”)!
— I’m not, I’m not dvigayu lapshu! — yelled Vasya, because he saw that Pakhan (Пахан, Pakhan — “crime boss”) slipped his hand into the pocket where a heavy pistol dangled.
— You don’t know Fenya (Феня, Fenya — criminal jargon), — said Pakhan and shook his square budka (будка, budka — “head, mug”). — Then tell me, what is a bimbar (бимбар, bimbar)?
— Here it is, the bimbar! Right here! — And Vasya pulled a watch out of his pocket.
(Yuri Koval, “Kurolesov and Matros Join In, or The Blunder of Citizen Loshakov”)
How Did Fenya Appear?
The word Fenya (Феня, Fenya) came from Ofeni (офени, Ofeni) — wandering peddlers in Old Russia. They used a secret speech to communicate with each other, later adopted by pimps, beggars, and thieves.
By the 16th century, Fenya was firmly in use among prisoners and remained their “privilege.” In the 20th century, especially after mass amnesties, the jargon spread into everyday Russian. In the 1990s, po fene botat (по фене ботать, po fene botat) — “to speak Fenya” — became fashionable, especially among the so-called “new Russians.”
Odessa slang: mixed Russian, Ukrainian, Yiddish, and Greek. Words like blat (блат, blat — “connections”), fraer (фраер, fraer — “outsider, sucker”), shukher (шухер, shukher — “lookout, warning”).
Use of Fenya in Prison
Prisoners spoke Fenya to hide information, even in front of guards. It often describes people:
Krysa (крыса, krysa) — rat, one who steals from his own.
Nasedka (наседка, nasedka) — hen, an informer.
Kozel (козёл, kozel) — goat, a prisoner collaborating with authorities.
Gopnik Slang
A simplified version of Fenya, mixed with curses. Used by gopniki (гопники, gopniki) — petty street punks. Example:
“Eh, potsyk (поцык, potsyk — kid), come here, we gotta talk!.. What’d you say, nahui (нах**, nahui — fuck you)? You so cocky, yopta (ёпта, yopta — yo, dude)?!”
Foreign Analogues
The English equivalent is Thieves’ cant or Rogues’ cant. In the U.S., prison slang varies by region and ethnicity. Chinese triads and Japanese yakuza also have their own coded languages, though censorship limits their use in pop culture.
Everyday Fenya Words (Glossary)
Бабки (Babki)
Literal: Grannies — Meaning: Money
Валить (Valit)
Literal: To knock down — Meaning: To run away
Делать ноги (Delat nogi)
Literal: To make legs — Meaning: To escape
Харе (Khare)
Literal: Enough — Meaning: Stop it
Вешать лапшу на уши (Lapshu na ushi veshat)
Literal: To hang noodles on ears — Meaning: To deceive, to fool
Втихаря (Vtikharya)
Literal: On the sly — Meaning: Secretly
Качать права (Kachat prava)
Literal: To swing rights — Meaning: To demand, insist
Отмазка (Otmazka)
Literal: Excuse — Meaning: Alibi, excuse
Чувак (Chuvak)
Literal: Guy — Meaning: Dude
Вкалывать (Vkalivat)
Literal: To drive in (metaphor) — Meaning: To work hard
Вырубиться (Vyrubitsya)
Literal: To cut out — Meaning: To pass out, fall asleep
Conclusion
Fenya is more than just prison talk — it’s a living piece of Russian culture. What began as the secret code of wandering traders and hardened criminals has seeped into music, literature, and everyday life. Some expressions sound funny, others carry a dark edge, but all of them reflect the resilience, wit, and survival instincts of those who lived by a language meant to hide and protect. Next time you hear a Russian say they’re “botayu po fene,” you’ll know they’re speaking the language of thieves, rebels, and history itself.
A woman has, for the first time in history, been appointed captain of a nuclear-powered icebreaker. Marina Starovoitova has taken command of the Yamal: the fourth largest icebreaker in the world, equipped with two nuclear reactors whose combined power would be enough to supply a city of 150,000 people. Cold waters, warm progress. rbc.ru
Pets vs. Progeny: New Legislative Math
Russian lawmakers want to ban citizens from owning more pets than they have children. The “optimal” rule would allow one dog and one cat per family, provided there are at least two children. State Duma deputies believe such a norm should be established at the federal level. So the government won’t raise your kids, but they’ll definitely count your cats. sibnovosti.ru
Single Hippo, Thanks to Sanctions
Sanctions have left Eva the hippo from Yekaterinburg all alone. A male from the Czech Republic can’t be brought in for her. Geopolitics: making even hippo dating impossible. kommersant.ru
Clairvoyance Can’t Predict Everything
A participant of two seasons of “Battle of Psychics” died in a car accident in Thailand. The clairvoyant is survived by his wife and five children.
Artur Mikberidze suffered a severe lung injury when he fell off a motorcycle. His wife said that recently they had been living in Thailand because there “the Universe itself supported them.”
Artur was also a psychologist who promoted his “own methods” of extrasensory practices. Together with his clairvoyant wife, they taught people channeling (a practice of connecting with higher forces, angels, or even one’s subconscious) and other supernatural abilities, all conducted online. Sadly, even psychics don’t always see what’s coming. kp.media
Cat Courier Caught in the Act
A drug courier cat with marijuana hidden in its collar was caught near a prison in the Nizhny Novgorod region. Authorities said it was attempting to deliver the drugs to inmates. Proof that curiosity doesn’t just kill the cat—it gets it arrested. ria.ru
Tax the Terminators
Robots in Russia will be forced to pay taxes. The authorities are already discussing the introduction of such a measure. This will help compensate for the loss of insurance contributions due to a reduction in staff numbers. Lawmakers noted that replacing people with working machines should be done in a balanced way and without causing major harm to humans. Coming soon: robots filing tax returns and asking for deductions on motor oil. gazeta.ru
Horoscope Over Investment Strategy
A Russian woman won 33 million rubles (about $370,000 USD) after buying the last lottery ticket — all because she trusted her horoscope. The day before, a resident of Chuvashia read an astrological forecast promising financial luck for Libras in August. A couple of weeks earlier, her left hand had also been itching — a traditional sign of incoming money. As a result, she became a multimillionaire. Now she plans to buy an apartment for her children and a country house for herself. Who needs investment strategies when you’ve got horoscopes and itchy hands? a42.ru
“Kind Barmalei” — A New Trade Risk?
Russians are being urged not to be afraid of traveling to the Taliban in Afghanistan. According to Oleg Korobchenko, the head of the Ministry of Industry and Trade of Tatarstan, many are hesitant to go to Afghanistan because the Taliban are portrayed as terrifying villains—barmalei (a slang term for evil bandits). “In reality, they are kind barmalei,” he noted. Tourism slogan of the year: “Taliban — kinder than you think!” moscowtimes.ru
Blessed Bank Cards: Spending with Salvation?
The Russian Orthodox Church has officially allowed Russians to have their bank cards blessed. However, priests warn that this won’t automatically bring wealth — one must take finances seriously. They advise against spending money on trivial or foolish things and recommend changing one’s attitude toward money. Only with inner change will a blessed card begin to bring benefits. Contactless payments, now with divine protection. absatz.media
Adultery Fines: Because Marriage Needs Numbers
Russians may soon face fines for adultery and abandoning children — 15,000–20,000 rubles (about $165–$220 USD) for infidelity and 50,000 rubles (about $550 USD) for each abandoned child. Borodin, head of the FPBK, believes that all symbols of family values in the country have been devalued, since there is currently no punishment for such misconduct. Nothing says “family values” like paying a fine for cheating. glavny.tv
Deputies Need Mind Checks, Too
In Russia, there’s a proposal to check State Duma deputies for mental fitness. Psychologist Zara Arutyunyan stated that the 450 people whose decisions affect the lives of all Russians should undergo open quarterly evaluations, just like teachers and preschool staff do. Currently, deputies are not required to provide a certificate from a psychiatric clinic, sadly. Finally, a policy 100 % of Russians might agree on. glavny.tv
August 14 marks Honey Savior Day (Medovy Spas) in Russia and in many Orthodox Christian communities—the first of the three “Savior” feasts and the start of the Dormition Fast.
Honey and a Wish for Love
According to old folklore, women smear a little honey on their shoe soles to attract marriage within a year. A loved one applies the honey, and then the woman takes seven steps around the house while saying, “So that men will stick to me.”
Honey Water for Prosperity
Men have their own money-drawing ritual: stir a spoonful of honey into water, take seven sips, and say, “Just as bees fly to honey, so wealth will come rushing to me.”
Part of the Dormition Fast
Honey Savior Day falls at the beginning of the two-week Dormition Fast, which leads up to the Feast of the Dormition of the Virgin Mary on August 28. In many places, people also bring fresh honey to church for blessing and enjoy the first honey of the season.
In Russia, 195 ethnic groups live side by side. Each has its own traditions, passed down since ancient times. Some customs, however, are enough to make your blood run cold. Hard as it is to believe, some of them aren’t legends from the distant past but are very much part of 21st-century Russian reality. Here’s a closer look at some of the most vivid (and unsettling) traditions of the indigenous peoples from different corners of this vast land.
Chukchi blood wedding straight out of Game of Thrones
Life in Chukotka is harsh — it’s a cold, inhospitable land — yet people have lived there since time immemorial. Not only do they survive, herding reindeer and fishing, but they also marry — in a way that would impress George R. R. Martin himself. The beautiful bride, adorned with beads and furs, rides her own reindeer in the company of her entire family toward the groom’s tent. Behind the tent, special poles are prepared for blood sacrifices. To ensure a happy marriage, a reindeer must be sacrificed to both the sunset and the sunrise. The reindeer’s blood is used for several rituals: first, the groom and bride have the family symbol painted on their faces — marking the bride’s departure from her own family and her joining her husband’s. (Kind of like changing your last name, only more… intense.) Next, the bride smears the blood on the wedding sled — the narta — and places the animal’s bone marrow by the yaranga (tent) for good luck. The blood rites don’t end there — the new wife must light the sacred household fire. A handful of ash is mixed with reindeer blood, rubbed between her palms, and used to start the hearth, as she whispers: “Live well with me.”
Why Chukchi keep walrus heads
While we’re still in Chukotka — ever wondered why the locals keep walrus heads? For them, it’s like your box of Christmas ornaments in the attic. In summer, Chukchi bring up animal skulls from their cellars to celebrate the “Festival of Heads” — marking the end of seal-hunting season. The skulls are arranged in the center of the yaranga, with the largest tied to a rope to mimic pulling a walrus from the water. In autumn, they throw another celebration — this time honoring Kertekun, the master of sea creatures. They weave a net from reindeer sinew, fetch their most beautifully decorated “holiday oars,” and don costumes sewn from walrus intestines. This raucous festivity comes with dancing, music, and sacrifices. The event ends with the ceremonial burning of a Kertekun effigy — a gesture of respect, so to speak.
Hospitable sex
On Kamchatka, the coastal Koryaks — a small indigenous group — have had a very unusual tradition of hospitality for centuries. A stranger isn’t only offered shelter, dinner, and a bed — but also the mistress of the house. Among the Koryaks, this is considered a blessing and a great honor. If the woman becomes pregnant from the guest, the entire village holds a huge celebration. The reason for this tradition is simple: survival. Infant mortality was historically high among the Koryaks due to inbreeding, so this was their way of diversifying the gene pool and sustaining the population.
Funeral celebration for the dead
Among many indigenous groups — such as the Veps, who live in Karelia, Vologda, and Leningrad regions — there exists a peculiar ritual known as “cheering the dead.” If you didn’t know a funeral was taking place, you might mistake it for a festival: people dressed in their finest clothes, singing, dancing, and jingling bells. Traditionally, this send-off was reserved for those who died unmarried. In some cases, it was done according to the deceased’s last wish — for example, if a grandmother wanted to be buried “as a bride,” with songs, wheat, fish pie, and accordion music, her wish would be honored.
Hanging the dead
An even stranger burial practice was once widespread — from the Far North to the Caucasus. Yakuts, Nenets, Khanty, Mansi, Buryats, Khakas, Adyghe, Circassians, and Georgians practiced “sky burial.” Instead of being buried in the ground, the coffin was hung high in a tree, where it remained until the body completely decayed. Among some peoples, this was a special honor reserved for respected leaders; among others, it was simply the standard way of laying anyone to rest.
🥟 Putin, Steve Witkoff, and the Legendary Cheburek
We kick things off with the Kremlin’s latest high-profile guest: American real estate developer Steve Witkoff. Before meeting Vladimir Putin, Russian media breathlessly reported on what was clearly the real diplomatic headline of the day — Witkoff’s breakfast.
Not just any breakfast, mind you, but a cheburek — a deep-fried turnover filled with minced meat and onions, beloved across Russia and Central Asia. Imagine a crispy, golden pastry the size of your face, dripping with juice — and now imagine nine Russian news outlets covering it like it was a state secret.
cheburek news
The meeting itself? Secondary. The cheburek? Front-page material. Some outlets even revealed the price: 500 rubles (about $5.75). Why did Witkoff meet Putin? Officially, business and international investment. Unofficially, maybe to experience the true Russian handshake — the one between man and fried dough.
⚖ Russia Bans a Slur (But Not Everywhere)
In Ulan-Ude, a woman has been fined 10,000 rubles (about $110 USD) for repeatedly using the derogatory term “khokhol” to insult a neighbor in a group chat. Linguistic experts confirmed it as inciting hatred toward Ukrainians, and the Supreme Court of Buryatia upheld the ruling.
Curiously, the same word still pops up on state TV and from certain members of parliament. Apparently, in Russia, some words are banned… unless you have your own news show.
Fed up with the high cost of living and urban chaos, Muscovites are packing up and moving to the regions — Kaluga, Tver, and beyond. Around 70,000 properties outside the capital have been registered in the last six months.
Some call it “remote work freedom.” Others call it “back to the grassroots, whether you like it or not.”
🍦 Kvass on a Stick
Russia now has kvass-flavored ice cream — at 25 rubles (about $0.28 USD) a pop. For the uninitiated, kvass is a traditional fermented drink made from rye bread, with a taste somewhere between malty soda and a very mild beer. It’s the sort of flavor that could divide a room instantly: half will smile nostalgically, half will wonder why their dessert tastes like a malt soda.
📱 Tyumen Man Scores 30 iPhones for 30 Cents
In a true David vs. Corporate Goliath moment, a man from Tyumen managed to buy 30 iPhones for 5 rubles each (about $0.06 USD) due to a website glitch. The seller refused to ship, but he took them to court — and won. Not only will he get the iPhones, he’ll also receive 10,000 rubles (about $115 USD) in moral damages. Somewhere, an accountant is weeping.
A woman in Russia found herself trapped in the bathroom when her robot vacuum knocked over a folding chair in the hallway, blocking the door. Rescue workers had to climb through a window to free her.
It’s official: humanity’s robot overlords have started with small, humiliating power plays.
In Moscow, a 12-year-old girl nearly drowned after her hair got sucked into a pool drain. She was freed after 30 terrifying seconds thanks to her mother and a quick-thinking pool worker. Prosecutors are now investigating safety standards.
It’s a chilling reminder that sometimes, life imitates the strangest movie death scenes — the ones you thought could never actually happen.
🔋 Batteries Not Included (In Common Sense)
Doctors in Ufa removed four AA batteries from a man’s rectum after he decided they’d give him “a boost of energy.” Alcohol was involved. Surprisingly, this wasn’t a viral TikTok challenge — just a very literal interpretation of “powering up.”
⛪ Orthodox Church: Women to Blame for Male Alcoholism
Father Valery Soskovets of the Russian Orthodox Church declared that male alcoholism often happens when “a woman becomes the head of the household.” His solution? Women should choose a man they’re willing to follow.
Because obviously, it’s not the drinking, the culture, or the lack of support systems — it’s just women running the vacuum and the budget. Cheers to that divine logic.
A “cocaine” plane is flying from Russia to Alaska for the upcoming Putin–Trump meeting, carrying a Russian delegation. Seven years ago, this very aircraft appeared in photos released by Argentine police, when nearly 400 kilograms of cocaine were seized at the Russian Embassy in Buenos Aires. It is believed the drugs were delivered to Argentina aboard this same plane.
Because nothing says “diplomatic relations” quite like arriving in a jet with a true crime backstory.
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